Naggardly Yours

Dear Hatandcoat,

I have known you to be able to come up with inventive and wonderful words. Remember "BANDITY"?

Why, then, have you insisted upon creating an inelegant and unuseful word like "naggard"? You say it is from "nudging a laggard." Please note that you cannot create a portmanteau word from a phrase.

Also, "nudging" and "laggard" are two different parts of speech. What, then, is "naggard"? A verb? A noun? A state of mind?

Furthermore, "naggard" is impossible to understand without explanation. If I were to read it without your definition, I would think it was "nag" + "laggard". Normally laggards don't nag, usually they are nagged to be less laggardly. The self-confliction does not work.

Finally, you have come very close to another existing word: "niggard". A niggard is a stingy person or a miser. This is where we get the word "niggardly." Unfortunately, many people cannot spell correctly, and thus the words "niggardly" and "niggard" are lumped together with that problematic word, "nigger". Even though "niggard" has nothing to do with race, it is very nearly boycotted just for sounding the same.

(Do you think I'm kidding? It happened right here in DC: An aide to the mayor resigned after he used the word "niggardly" and people complained. Wa-Po story. He got rehired, though.)

So please be careful when you create your portmanteaus, you naggard.

Sincerely,
Aak