Doctor Who Ever

For the last few weeks, I've spent my off-hours consuming the four seasons of the new Doctor Who series (2005-2008). I became obsessed.

As a kid, I would often catch ancient episodes of Doctor Who on PBS. My memory of them is hazy: a succession of running through hallways; a galaxy of blinking lights and buttons; a parade of different people all swirling around different doctors. I liked the curly-haired and long-scarfed Doctor of Tom Baker the best, for no discernible reason. I never really knew who the enemies were, but I understood the concept: the Doctor regenerates into new bodies instead of dying, his nemesis is the Master, the Doctor travels in a TARDIS/time machine/police box, and there are a bunch of supporting characters as well. I liked the old series but wasn't very well versed in it.

After getting Netflix, I became aware of the Instant-Watch option for several TV shows. Doctor Who was one of them. On a whim, I started watching and that was it. I couldn't stop.

The imagination, the humor, and the darkness are what get me. The ethical dilemmas and the twisting continuities keep me around. In 2005, Christopher Eccleston played the Doctor, and his emotional fire was exhilarating. I hadn't expected such life to be breathed into the character. When he changed into David Tennant, I thought I'd be disappointed... but he just got better.

Doctor Who has been on for such a long time, and the writers really try to use everything in the universe of the show. Which is why watching Doctor Who on your computer is so important and interesting. When the Dalek showed up, I could look up "Dalek" on Wikipedia and see their whole history. I didn't look down the page enough to ruin anything (although really, since the whole show is about paradoxes and time travel, does it matter that I know future events?). The only better way to view Doctor Who would be if they hyperlinked the image of each character on the screen, so I could just click on Rose Tyler and go here, the Master and go here, and so on. (I'll take .5% of the profits on that innovation, thanks.)

But the show is formulaic. Random people die just so the Doctor stays alive. Or somebody else does the dirty work while the Doctor sticks to his nonviolence routine. I'd have loved it if the simple, boxed-in, Twilight-Zone-esque drama of the Midnight episode had been resolved more cleverly than it was (watch it and you'll see what I mean; the whole buildup was so intense, and it really had me twisted in knots, but then it ended so abruptly).

All the same, it is worth watching, 2005 on. (On the other hand, I can't say I'm all that interested in Torchwood, the Doctor Who spinoff. It feels a bit like ST:TNG's Voyager--a noncompelling lead character mired in mildly-interesting plotlines.)

Guest Post 2: "Point In Case"

Just to follow-up on my blog entry, the most fabulous thing happened this week. My theory was proven correct (of course, as a scientist I should right the disclaimer that nothing in this world is ever PROVEN, it's just SUPPORTED...whatever...this is practically proof). In the very same bathroom mentioned in the previous post regarding bathroom etiquette and signage. A year or more ago, they decided to 'improve' our bathroom. These improvements included a simple removal of the wall-mounted unit that normally includes mounts for toilet paper, seat protectors and the disposal for tampons and pads. This was replaced with a double-roll toilet paper dispenser SANS seat protector holder (which, now, by-the-way, is now perched on top of said 'new-and-improved' TP dispenser in it's manufacturer's cardboard packaging (which, I find hilariously named 'Rest Assured' seat covers, produced by PROTECTO...sounds like a cartoon superhero), and SANS disposal. Now, and pardon the forthcoming visual, ladies have to wrap up their items, carry them out of the stall and throw them in the trash by the sinks. Not a very private endeavor. At any rate, I go to use the restroom and I notice a green plastic wrapper for a pad on the floor of the stall. I think to myself "Boy, wouldn't it be funny if someone were doing this just to make a stand that they want a little garbage can in the stall to spare us the embarrassment of toting used sanitary items (which are SO not sanitary!) around in semi-public?". Sure enough, trip No. 2 to the bathroom reveals a neatly TP-wrapped, used pad on the floor. Trip No. 3 (hey...I drink a lot of coffee, what can I say), reveals yet another wrapped, used, pad and a note from man-eating-doctor (signed and everything) firmly stating 'Please put tampons and sanitary napkins in the trash.' And I think: this is the perfect storm. Let's see if the sign actually works. Under my theory the perp. is either a) ignorant (in the original sense of the word, H&C) or b) lazy/inconsiderate/moronic/nasty (or all of the above) and in both cases, signage won't matter. Trip Nos. 4 and 5 reveal an accumulation of used sanitary napkins despite the sign. Glory, you ask? Well yes, but the real glory, is that the next day, there was a little trash can in the stalls. But the signs remain...

I'm Changing Doctors

My Dr. irritated the hell out of me. I went to her a couple of months ago with a minor issue. No biggie, she prescribed something, it went away in like 2 seconds. While there I presented another ongoing minor issue that I normally don't care about but will make the effort to solve while I happen to be at the Dr's office. She prescribed something for that too and told me to wait until the first thing resolves first. Ok. First thing resolves. I drag my feet a little in getting the second thing done because it's minor and I forget about it. Eventually I go to the pharmacy to drop off prescription 2. Next day I get a call that the prescription is discontinued and they will need to contact the Dr to get another one filled. Next day I get a call from the Dr's office but I'm at work and let it go to voicemail. I forget about it for a couple weeks. Yeah, I know, repeatedly forgetting is not a good habit, but the forthcoming is quite irritating.

I try listening to the message that's been sitting on my voicemail for a couple weeks now. The Dr's secretary's accent is so thick that I don't have a clue what she's saying (gf had to listen and send me a transcript. I was very impressed.) They want to send me to a frickin' podiatrist (completely irrelevant). !? Ok. So, I call their office like 4 times before someone finally picks up. I give them my shpiel, eventually get the Dr. on the phone, and she says that she doesn't have a diagnosis so I have to either be referred to a specialist or come in to see her. !? Convo. goes something like this:

Me: Well, you prescribed me this medication in the first place, can you prescribe me a generic or something similar?
Her: I cannot prescribe you something without seeing you. Do you know what it is?
Me: Yes, it's __________.
Her: Ok, you need to see a specialist or come in to see me.
Me: I don't need all of that. I know what it is. It's a perennial thing and I've fixed it before. You saw it, gave me [a bum prescription]. Can you give me a new one?
Her: You need to make an appointment. I do not have a diagnosis written here in my chart.

We then go back an forth saying the same things. There's a lull in the conversation, she says goodbye and hangs up. I'm pissed. I call back, get her secretary on the phone (Dr's no longer available) and tell her that I should not be penalized and charged for another Dr's visit just because she didn't write the diagnosis down in the first place. F$^& that. I lay down my argument, she tells me the Dr won't be available until such and such a time, and I hang up. I call back at such and such a time, and the secretary tells me that the Dr has just called the pharmacy with a new prescription.

Huzzah.

How To Study Chinese History, Part 1

I'm taking an East Asian Civ course right now, and it's by far my favorite class. I'd always heard that China is fascinating, but, well, it really is. So much intrigue. So many grasps for power. So much time spent thinking about how to govern. China's had so much success in ruling vast amounts of land, and yet the failures are fascinating, too.

At any rate, going into my class, I had no frame of reference. I couldn't even get the hang of how to pronounce the names of people and places. And there were so many people to remember. but on the test, I ended up with a 97%. I did it by: watching movies.

The first major player in Chinese history, the dude who changed it all, was Ying Zheng, king of Qin, who conquered all the other territories and became the First Emperor, Qin Shi Huang Di. His dynasty lasted... 15 years. Qin Shi Huang Di is regarded as ruthless, violent, militaristic, bloodthirsty, but brilliant and visionary. He certainly changed the game forever by uniting his people, but he did so in a bloody and catastrophic way that caused a huge amount of suffering. Thus he's dealt with in contradictory ways. There are two great movies to watch to get some background on this guy.

• Hero (the Jet Li movie).
  Qin Shi Huang Di is shown to be highly protected due to all the attempts on his life. And he's shown to be powerful and mighty. But we're never shown all the blood spilled by the First Emperor; we're only told that he's disliked. This movie was directed by a Chinese man whose loyalty to China was questioned by the government; my teacher theorizes that that's why it shows Qin Shi Huang Di in such a moderately-good light.
  
  Why it's a good movie: Jet Li, swords, fighting, cinematography
  Why it's useful for studying: short, easy to remember
  
  
• The Emperor's Assassin.
  We're told a story about Qin Shi Huang Di at the beginning of his rise to power (back when he was just Ying Zheng) and shown how he progresses through the land, gradually encroaching upon every land. As he gains power, he loses his ability to connect to people.
  
  He sends his wife to a neighboring territory to encourage them to send an assassin, so he can have a pretext for invading. She sees how terrible Ying Zheng is becoming, and sends an assassin to kill him for real. There's also a love affair. Also lots of intrigue.
  
  What's great about this movie is that the acting pulls you through all the intrigue. Great acting all around. Another great thing for studying is that it shows you all the places that Ying Cheng conquers, and gives you two more important names to remember: Lü Buwei and Li Si. Don't worry that they try to make the case of Lü Buwei being the Emperor's father--that's ridiculous.
  
  Why it's a great movie: acting, plot, suspense, a little fighting
  Why it's useful for study: you'll never forget Ying Zheng afterwards

Like I said, Qin Shi Huang Di's dynasty lasted for 15 years. That's less than half of the time it took him to wage war and unify his country. He spent most of his life killing people, won the whole shebang in 221 BC, and died in 210 BC. The government was too severe for the populous to support, and none of the warlords in the outlying counties liked the Qin government much for destroying their lands. So then there was a brief period of unrest--a very fascinating time called the Chu-Han Contention.

See, when Ying Zheng/Qin Shi Huang Di died, his eunuch Zhao Gao conspired with Li Si to put the ony one of the Emperor's sons whom they could control on the throne. Bad mistake; the emperor was completely unable to quell rebellion that sprang up all over the land. I'm not sure he even tried. There were many people vying to take down the Qin, and the two prominent people among them were Liu Bang and Xiang Yu. Xiang Yu is portrayed in history like a barbarian, as ruthless as the Qin emperor. Liu Bang is thought to have been more of a diplomat and much more lenient with respect to vanquished foes and the commoners.

I nailed this part of my test, and I lay the credit all at the feet of the Chinese TV drama called "The Story of the Han Dynasty". I don't know how to buy this series here in the US, but, if you search, I'm sure you can find it online somewhere...

"Story" is a bit of a soap opera when it comes to the female roles (but make no mistake, Liu Bang's wife was quite ruthless and became a powerful figure in Chinese history). I suggest watching at least the first 40 episodes to completely understand all that went on. It's not superbly acted, but it's involving enough to get hooked on. I admit some of the episodes suffer from bloat, where some dude laments his fortune for five or ten minutes, but ehh, just fast forward through that. Liu Bang is portrayed as such a buffoon, but he's lovable nonetheless.

I also suggest watching it on your computer with an eye on Wikipedia in another screen. That really helped me; as I watched and thought, That can't possibly be accurate, I'd look it up and, sure enough, what I was seeing matched up with ancient Chinese texts.

Selling

I need to sell my car because I'm now down here with all this public transportation available. It's been sitting unregistered and un-tagged in my parents' driveway for a year now (yeah, I should've sold it a while ago). The combo. of craigslist (daily posting), facebook marketplace, my sister's coworker network, and general word of mouth has produced a total of four inquiries after what I guess is over a month of advertising. One was from Canada (no thanks), one whose work status has changed from full to part time so they could no longer afford it, and the other two were friend and a neighbor who were both only "maybe" interested. I'm going to have to significantly reduce my price to sell, and finding someone online is way too unreliable according to scary accounts that I've read. I just want it gone now, so it's to the dealer for me.

Everyone I talk to instinctively says "oh, don't go to the dealer, you'll get screwed." Well, we'll see. The car's got a few problems, but I just put over $700 into it to fix things like rotors and brakes, so those bastards should give me some sugar. If I'd have known that selling would be such a bitch, I'd have saved that money.

I don't know if it's an instinctive or a learned thing, but I don't seem to have the natural ability to sell things. A couple years ago I set up a flea market table with someone, and the experience clearly told me that I had no natural ability to move merchandise. I would price cheap things way too highly and expensive things for pennies. I wouldn't chat up the walkers-by. More recently at the restaurant, I feel a sort of guardianship of my customers' wallets and don't upsell just for the sake of driving their checks up. When they ask for advice I offer the cheaper of two options. I can't help it.

I think the upside of this is that when I actually do believe in what I'm trying to push I'm very persuasive. When someone asks for a specific item or a choice btw. two, I give a very good and convincing reason for what I like. I think this might be an indicator that I might actually be good at selling once I find the bangin' sh**.

There was one guy at the restaurant who sold stuff for Quixtar and he was a natural born salesman. I sat down one day and listened to him break down the diffferent types of people and how to sell to them. It was fascinating. He told me his strategies for how to read people on the spot and deal with them a certain way. Now, talking to different people differently is natural. All the time I catch myself saying to one table with big smile "Thank you very much, everyone have a wonderful evening," then literally turn around, put on a casual sly friendly expression and say "'night, guys." But this guy he had a whole set of theory behind it. But when we got to talking - briefly - about specific products I didn't get the sense that he was that especially discerning about what was good or bad. He seemed Bullish about what he thought could make some money. I genuinely admire his sales charisma and his ability to push things, but I don't think I could pull it off. Not for me.

Interactions

I've figured out that you just can't predict how well you will get along with somebody based on interests alone. First impressions are useless. Some people will just never interact well, and you won't know it until you both face some sort of stress.

I will never interact well with depressive, bottled-up people; I won't cheer them up. And people who need a lot of approval and constant agreement will never get along well with me for extended periods of time. No matter how nice we are to each other, it will never happen.

Word Alert: FOB, ABC, and ABCDEFG

FOB means Fresh Off the Boat, and refers to any immigrant who doesn't quite get the culture yet, or who doesn't even know how embarrassing they are to their children. See http://mymomisafob.com/, a website whose tagline, "Is funk means sexy?" says it all.

ABC means American-Born Chinese. I overheard this term spelled out in my East Asian Civ class today, along with FOB (pronounced like the word "fob").

ABCD means American Born and Confused Desi. "Desi" comes from multiple South Asian languages and means "of the country," so desi has come to mean an Indian or Pakistani in America or Great Britain.

Some have attempted to make the term ABCDEFG, American Born and Confused Desi Emigrated From Gujarat. Someone please explain to me how they could be American-born and also emigrated from Gujarat, which is not in America.

There have been update attempts, like FOP (fresh off the plane) and JOJ (just off the jet), but none of them sing of complete unknowingness like FOB does. FOBs are so FOB, they don't even know you can take a plane!

Please note that even American-born people can be called FOBs if they do something really obviously against cultural norms, like eating popcorn with chopsticks.

Reference here.

Strathmore, Posture, and Tango, Oh Yeah

You are correct, H&C does fill a very special niche in the blogosphere. I'm sure the world needs more off-the-cuff ramblings.

So, I'm bringing two ongoing blog subjects up here: posture and Tango lessons. I was chugging along, leading my partners just fine during classes, but my back started hurting after the first dance and steadily a little worse over the night. My teachers gave me some posture advice that completely changed the way I approached everything, and all of a sudden I can't lead effectively. I don't give clear signals with my chest because now it's all supposed to move as one unit with my whole torso, which I'm not at all used to. I used to lean way forward with my chest apparently. Now the whole body structure is shot: leg movements get all screwed up, my partner doesn't know what I'm doing, I trip over her feet...it's a mess and I'm back to frustration phase.

I'm walking around trying to implement the changes that they told me about posture when I go about my everyday business. I realized that I can't change them all at once, so I settled on one: standing with my weight tending toward the balls of my feet. I figure that's a more fundamental approach. Usually I completely forget about it then remember and stand that way for about three seconds while the metro is pulling up in front of me. Hey, it's a start.

Last night gf, gf's coworker, and I went to a performance at the strathmore. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. They started out with a performance of the overture to The Thieving Magpie, then a musical interpretation of Poe's works written by the conductor, then some symphony written by some Finnish guy. The culmination of the Poe stuff was the Raven performed by some guy that looked just like John Astin. I kept saying that every time I saw him, annoying my viewing partner. Eventually I looked at the program, and sure enough it was indeed John Astin. How cool! None of us particularly liked his reading, unfortunately. I personally didn't like any of the five readers. Though I don't like dramatic readings in general.

The highlight of the night for me was watching the conductor during the Finnish symphony. I've never watched a conductor for any extended length of time before, and it's quite a treat. He got into quite a groove up there.

I just took a peek at the H&C site and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a Districted posting archive that said "Cream with a friend." !!! What's going on over there? It was short for "...Voting: Ice Cream..." Yeah, kind of a disappointment.

There's a Blog For It

We are getting to the point where blogs are about anything and everything. A few months ago, a friend (let's call her... Juice) was saying how hilarious she found the blog http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/. But, as she lives in DC, she was seeing a lot of douchebags with douchebags hanging around, smoking, one hand tucked into their velvet sportscoats, no hot chicks in sight. She wanted to register douchebagswithdouchebags.com, but she found it was already taken.

Have a funny concept? Look it up, there's a blog for it already. That's what makes blogs like Hatandcoat so valuable: there's no concept.

I happened across a concept blog today and thought of a certain guest blogger. H&C's Girlfriend, this blog's for you:

http://mustwashhands.blogspot.com/

Election Night: Couldn't Study Edition

I had 40 pages to read for 11/5, but I was stuck with an 11/4 mindset. I could not stop wondering about the election.

Some of my roommates were not very interested. They preferred to watch the House marathon on USA, letting me flick back to CNN or FoxNews during the commercial breaks.

(Yes, FoxNews. I wanted to see how morose they were. I was not disappointed. I especially liked how they concentrated on the few Congressional races that Republicans won. Whenever they had to report a state going to Obama, they got mopey.)

(That's not to say that CNN was much better. CNN's coverage was so booooooring, I couldn't argue with my roommates when they said they'd prefer watching an Englishman limp around a hospital. CNN's anchors were so robotic. No enthusiasm. That was disappointing. MSNBC turned out to be much much better.)

Then my other roommate came home and ran into the living room, saying "What's going on! What I miss? What's... what are you watching?"

I pointed at her and said to my other roomies: "This is the enthusiasm I was looking for!" I happily turned it back to MSNBC just as Obama's win was announced.

"AHHHHAAHAAHHHHHHH!" I and the latecoming roommate screamed. We jumped around and hugged and highfived and screamed some more. It was no U Street celebration, but hey, it was exciting nonetheless.

Stayed up, watched McCain apologize for the "associations" attacks, and heard Obama reach for the stars. I didn't sleep until about 2am. Test was 10am, and, ehh, what the heck. Who cares about cultural anthropology when you saw History made last night?

Miso Soup Tips

I made miso soup this morning mostly to entice my roommates into waking up early with me and going to vote.

Non-instant miso soup is so easy, it's retardulous. I used daikon chopped into thinnish rectangles, dried seaweed that I hydrated first, green onion, and tofu. But here's the basic recipe:

miso
dashi (a kind of Japanese soup stock) or any soup stock
any kind of vegetable and/or tofu

• Pour water into a pot and pour some dashi in, just enough so that it's not uber-powerful.
• When boiling (or before), add vegetables. If some take less time to cook, throw them in toward the end. For example, daikon and carrots take longer, so I put those in first, but green onion, seaweed, and tofu don't need much time to become palatable, so I put them in when the daikon or carrots are almost done.
• When veggies are done, stop the heat. Take a spoonful of miso, put it in a ladle, and add water to the ladle.
• Muck around the stuff in the ladle until the miso is not a paste, then stir the murky liquid into the general soup.
  
• Repeat adding miso until flavor intensity acheived.
  

Details: miso is fermented soybean paste, available at most stores these days but certainly at Whole Foods and Asian stores. Buy it in tubs or plastic bags. There's white, red, brown, brown rice, etc. varieties. They're all good for you. White is more creamy and light, red is a little more flavorful, brown is rich. No big deal. Store in the fridge FOREVER; I've never known miso to ever go bad.

Dashi is available at Asian stores. It's a nice touch to the soup, it's cheap, and it's easy. If you can't find an Asian grocery store, just use vegetable or chicken stock. Not as authentic, but ehh. Just pour a little in; you want a touch of a base, but you don't want to make chicken noodle miso. Also, you could always be adventurous and make your own dashi, but it involves more Asian stuff. Finally, a Japanese woman told me that the key to a good miso soup balance of flavors was that, if you are going to use vegetables only, then use the fish dashi, but if you use shrimp or any kind of seafood in your soup, use veggie dashi.

Tofu: firm or soft does not matter. (That's what she said.)

Consumption tip: When eating miso, the Japanese use chopsticks to pick out the veggies and tofu, but for the broth, they just drink out of the bowl. Put down your spoon and take a drink. (That's what she said.) You'll be glad you did.

This Post Was Supposed To Be On Districted

But the forthcoming stylings are too varied for my coblogger.

A funny thing on the front page of the Washington Post: John McCain's goal is to keep black people out of the white house. "John McCain faces and enormous task in trying to prevent Barack Obama from winning the White House and becoming the first African American president in the nation's history." Just some funny wording I noticed in passing that I decided to point out.


Apparently there is a comedian somewhere who jokes "I have news for you, hiking is just walking." I like it much as a hobby sometimes, but it can be a little boring after a while. As far as I can tell the Appalachian Trail is not all that interesting. After so much time walking on a rocky path it's not all that interesting. For the first time in a pretty long while yesterday I got bored of hiking. Gf pointed out to me that hiking is so much more fun when you have a peak to reach. I agree. You do all this work and you struggle and you get to the top, eat some lunch, and look at the farms below you. Then on the way down you feel a little spent, like you've reached your day's sublimity. Months ago our first hike together was Old Rag. That was great. I understand that it's extremely crowded usually, but we strategically went on Easter Sunday.

I haven't changed much since childhood in my bug curiosity. A highlight of yesterday's excursion for me was when we stopped to read a guidepost and found a colony of inchworms wandering around. They move so interestingly. We decided they must all have incredibly fit abs. At one point there was one larger one and one way smaller one. The smaller one was doing a tentative back and forth thing, acting like maybe a newborn or a toddler. We thought such limited movement was all he was capable of, but then the big brother decided he was going to plow right over him. Then the little guy scurried like I have never seen an inchworm move.

I'm going to dedicate myself to 15 minutes of meditation per day. It doesn't seem like much. I'm not sure I want to do it all that much, but it seems to bring benefits with it. I just did a quick look online to find something cool to link to here. I thought "hmm, what's the difference bewteen regular old meditation and transcendental meditation?" Turns out Transcendental Meditation is a friggin' trademark!

Guest Post

From Girlfriend:

Bathroom Etiquette: Wipe, wash and no signage! (NOT a micturation blog)

We all know proper bathroom etiquette, right? I guess for girls it’s a little different than for boys, but basically, if you miss, wipe it up and wash your hands when you’re done. It doesn’t take a scientist. And I would know, I’m a scientist. What’s not cool is people posting signs in public bathrooms telling you exactly what proper etiquette is. Really? Am I a child? Is there anyone in my whole building who has never been taught this? Right about now, you’re tempted to say “Yes, Girlfriend, there are people who have never been taught.” But here’s my argument.

My feeling is that people who don’t perform what society considers adequate etiquette, simply don’t care. And you hanging your sign there isn’t going to make them care. Much like protests, hanging signs might make you feel better, but do they really do anything? Is someone going to say “JESUS…there are a thousand people outside my house screaming with signs! Garn, a thousand people can’t possibly be wrong! I guess I’ll change my mind!” Sidetracked. I guess the point is that I think it’s patronizing to hang signs detailing the intimacies of how to wash your hands. And for those people who think that some haven’t been taught…well they’re not going to read it, anyway.

This practice seems to be rampant at my place of work. Everyone has their own version of the sign. We went through a debacle a few years back where a sign appeared hanging on the mirror in front of the sinks that said “Wash your hands! You MUST wash your hands!” That was really the gist of it. Just God demanding you wash your hands. Well the sign disappeared, much to my delight. Apparently someone else feels as I do about bathroom signage. Well, the next day it reappeared and it was signed from one of the senior scientists down the hall (aka God, at least in her mind). As if to say “This is MY sign, and if you don’t like it, you can come tell me, and I will eat you alive.” Well, the sign kept anonymously disappearing. After a month or so, said man-eating-scientist gave up her quest and we’ve all been walking around with dirty hands ever since. Take THAT.

H&C Leaves Out the Best Parts

I seemed to recall that story that H&C wrote about in his last post on Districted. Which one? Oh, right, there were several. I mean the one about the torture device in the shape of a bull. It's the one in the last half of his last paragraph. I'd like to link directly to it, but single-subject paragraphs are for losers, apparently.

I thought I remembered it because it was tied to some vocabulary word I'd learned long ago. I checked Wikipedia, and found out why I remembered it so vividly: that Greek king tested out his "brazen bull" torture device on the inventor himself.

The inventor was showing the king how the thing worked. "And here is where you place the victim." He unlocked and opened the hatch.

"And you say the screams will really sound like a bull?" the king asked.

"Absolutely," the inventor said. He climbed into the hatch, pointing to the inside of the head. "These tubes have been calibrated to modulate the sound of whatever voice inside into the roar of a maddened bull. See, here is the first valve, where-"

"I can't quite see what you're talking about," said the king.

"It's just under here," the inventor said, kneeling down.

The hatch slammed and the lock clicked shut. The inventor started shouting. The king said, "Hmm, yes, well that doesn't sound quite like a bull. Let's see what he sounds like over a fire."

They put the brazen bull, inventor inside, over the fire. The king waited until the screaming had turned fully bull-like before letting the inventor out.

"Did you hear me... my king... screaming inside?"

"Yes, I did! And it jolly well sounded like a bull, too. Guards, take him to his reward."

And the guards threw the inventor off of a cliff.

Eventually, the king was himself roasted in that bull, but that is another story.

Random Non-Sequitur Posts Are For Hatandcoat

So let's keep that over here, eh? I offer you a challenge: try to stick to one subject on Districted. I'll try your method over here, sometimes...

I got hated on today on my bike on Georgia Avenue, going south towards the Beltway. All of a sudden, the road was congested and the cars behind me kept honking. They kept yelling as they passed me all too closely "Right side!" or "Side!" Maryland law states bikes are allowed to use the roads with all the rights of other vehicles, except that they are prohibited from "the travel lanes of roads where there exists a smooth shoulder or bicycle lane (except to make left turns or to avoid debris in the shoulder space)." There was no shoulder, and there was plenty of stuff to avoid all the way on the right. I was as much on the right side as I felt safe to be. Covered! So I biked up to one old lady while she was at a red light. She refused to roll down her window (although she had rolled it down to yell "side" at me). I said "But you don't know the law!" She shook her head and jabbed her finger at the right side of the road. "But that's not the law!" I said, as she drove off. Hopefully she will look it up.

I didn't end up spending Halloween with my friends last night. I felt bad because they'd lugged my Little-Prince-o-lantern to the house where we were going to be. I had my costume ready: I was going to be a biker with a (Tostitos) chip on my shoulder. I was going to walk around like I owned the place, cutting people off, shouting "LEFT" whenever I would go around someone else, and chiming my bike bell whenever I was moving. I got ready to go and found that the tire that I'd fixed by myself was again deflated. I thought, hm, it's in Virginia, and walking to the Metro adds about 40 min to the total time, plus I'm getting on the road late, plus I have a lot to study... man, I want to see people but I'd mainly be going just not to be a flake. So I gave up, fixed the tire, curled up with my schoolbooks and read and slept the night away.

What's up with everybody trying to call Halloween "Hallowe'en"? In the US, UK, and Canada, the predominant spelling is sans apostrophe. The original name of the day is "All Hallows' Even." Yes, in poetry, some people abbreviate v with apostrophe, and that's likely how we got to spell it "Halloween." There's no need to be overly archaic about putting the apostrophe in. I don't know that that was ever a standard spelling. It just looks weird, and I think that's why people use it--it makes them appear smarter for using "Hallowe'en" instead of the common spelling.

Also, I overheard a woman at my school, an administrator, say she didn't want to call 10/31 "Halloween." Why? "Because it's the Devil's birthday." Come on! There is no Satan-worship in the origins of Halloween. Lots of cultures celebrate days of the dead, but they're never Satanic. Samhain, the pagan god of the Celts, was not their idea of Satan. Furthermore, just dressing up in costumes does not mean you are worshipping the Devil. I wonder if this woman believes in giving gifts on 12/25. Does she believe in Easter egg hunts?

I am not prepared for my Japanese test, coming up on December 7. I'm really not. What am I doing, blogging like this? I should go away and study.